A song I was listening to today reminded me of a pretty little tidbit I wrote some six years ago around this time…
She threw her shoulders back (as she was feeling a little taller these days) and carried on, pausing to admire the sunflowers and hoping for more along the path ahead…
Her once faded colors now flourished vibrantly in shades of tomato and tangerine.
She protectively clutched her cards in hand but with each typed word, they fell to the table, one by one, in full transparency.
My husband turned in his two weeks recently. It took months of grueling self-debate, employer dissatisfaction, and spiraling borderline depression in order to reach the bottomless pit that made him recognize he needed to take action. While he was thankful for the flexible opportunity at the time, 3.5 years, more responsibility and zero pay increases later, he identified his morale-depleting job as the obstacle interfering with his hopeful success and happiness.
Is he guaranteed that this will help him get back on track with his education, contentment and life goals? No. Is he apprehensive about whether or not his freelance gigs and student loans will be enough to sustain a family of three? Yes. However, he took a brave and risky step because taking that gamble rather than coasting through a life of mediocrity was worth it to him and to all of us.
Often times, I have to remind him and myself that some of us took different paths in life and we shouldn’t compare. The traditionalists proceeded in the “proper” order. They graduated high school, attended a 4-year college and began their careers by the age of twenty-two. Some continued further and became doctors, lawyers, etc. We were among the other group–the restless misfits of society who chose to march to the beat of our own irregular, creative hearts. Some of us got married or had children while our friends were out celebrating their twenty-first birthdays at the local frat pub. Many in this camp pursued a dream and toured the world in a band, wrote a screenplay, went out on auditions, painted, or backpacked through Europe for a time because some driving force within us needed to experience life in a way apart from the norm. We may have even changed majors, dropped out of school, relocated to another state or endured a difficult break-up or divorce that put us behind the societal curve. Suddenly, there we were at twenty-eight, feeling like we were starting all over again. We looked around us and realized that our friends who took the straight and narrow had nicer cars, took more vacations and had already purchased their first homes. While we we might not necessarily regret our decisions, we certainly all like nice things.
However, the six figure salaried businessman might be secretly envious of his friend with the record deal. The successful, single surgeon may now feel differently about her friend who had an unplanned pregnancy at twenty. We sometimes have to stop and recognize that we all chose our own paths. Whether attractions along the way sent us off down a winding branch, we took a fork that we decided wasn’t for us, or we headed straight for the goal without taking any detours, we all have a path to follow, and we all have the opportunity to discover what’s around the next bend. It may take many miles of walking, but it’s during that journey that we collect invaluable experiences to aid us at the next mile marker. The terrain can get rocky or seem never ending, but the trick is to listen to that inner voice, gut, God, or whatever you feel compelling you to keep going or try something new.
Regardless of which navigation system guides us, we’ve all experienced setbacks or faced fears that have caused us to momentarily fall victim to measuring ourselves according to society’s calculated norms. Whether we quit our dreams in order to keep up with the Jones’, rushed into marriage because our clock was ticking/we were afraid of being alone, or declared bankruptcy for a quick fix, we need to remind ourselves that we all want what the other has and nothing good comes easily. Even if we made a mistake, or dozens of them, we need to pick ourselves up, dust off, and work our butts off to try again.
No one knows what decision is best for you other than you–just don’t be afraid to make it, don’t be in such a hurry to get there, and by all means, don’t give up!
“Freedom lies in being bold”
-Robert Frost
misfitdesigner 